After giving birth to my son, Xavier, I felt very happy. But at the same time, I became very emotional. I easily cry over the slightest things. I even cried over Xp's refusal to suckle when I nurse him. I felt like he doesn't like me. I can't explain the feeling but it felt like I was so alone. The feeling was so negative that I had fears that I may not be giving my best care to my little one.
My husband noticed these changes in my moods. He knew something was wrong. So, he consulted the internet for answers. He learned that I had the "baby blues".
Mood disturbances is experienced by mostly 80% of women after giving birth. Some of these feelings go away on their own. But for some women, a more disabling form of mood disorder may occur called Postpartum Depression. Feelings vary from being upset, lonely, afraid and in rare cases, unloving feeling towards their baby. Symptoms include depressed mood, tearfulness, trouble sleeping, fatigue, loss of appetite, suicidal thoughts, feelings of inadequacy as a parent, and impaired concentration. This type of disorder interferes with the ability of a woman to take care of her baby.
Postpartum Psychosis is the most serious Postpartum Depression and requires immediate treatment. In worst cases, women having this disorder tend to kill their infants and young ones not for feelings of anger, but for the desire of not to harm them. Symptoms include sleeping problems, anxiety and mood swings. Reasons for having such depression has not been pinpoint. Hormone imbalance is thought to be the culprit causing this. Other risk factors may be mental illness, stress, and miscarriage.
After knowing all this, my husband talked to me. He comforted me of my anxieties and fears. I cried everything to him. I was just thankful he was around that time to notice the stress I was going through. He went on a short vacation just to be with me after my giving birth. I am also thankful to our families and friends who supported us in every way. I thanked them so much. Being felt loved and cared for made all the difference. I just feel so blessed.
